Healing Is a Gateway Drug to Awakening
I wasn’t looking for a spiritual awakening. I just wanted to lose weight. But as I began working through childhood beliefs and the grief I had carried since losing my son, Connor, something unexpected happened. The physical weight stayed, but I began to feel lighter—and experience life in ways I never could have imagined.
How Did I Ended Up in a Documentary About Consciousness?
I went to the Monroe Institute expecting something extraordinary to happen to me. But when I started questioning why I was even there, a series of strange coincidences, shared experiences and unexpected connections began to shift my perspective. Maybe the real story wasn’t just about consciousness. Maybe it was about what was happening between us.
How Did I Ended Up in a Documentary About Consciousness
I arrived at the Monroe Institute expecting to explore altered states of consciousness—and maybe finally learn how to leave my body on command. Instead, somewhere between the Bed in a Boxes, bouts of vertigo and twenty-four strangers asking questions no one could fully answer, I discovered that the most meaningful part of the experience might not happen with my eyes closed.
How Did I End Up in a Documentary About Consciousness?
What began as unexplained vibrations, vivid dreamscapes and out-of-body experiences became a lesson in trusting myself. When a forgotten book finally gave me language for what I was experiencing, it also opened a path toward the Monroe Institute—and a documentary I somehow knew I was meant to be part of.
How Did I End Up in a Documentary About Consciousness?
What began as a few strange words appearing in my mind upon waking soon became a pattern I could no longer ignore. I still wasn’t ready to call it mystical—but I was beginning to wonder whether curiosity might matter more than certainty, and where our ideas truly come from.
How Did I End Up in a Documentary About Consciousness?
I wasn't searching for spiritual experiences. I was trying to heal.
What began as a journey through grief, loss, and unresolved pain slowly evolved into something I never expected. Strange messages arrived in dreams. Unfamiliar words appeared in my mind and turned out to be real. A warning about a motorcycle accident arrived weeks before the event itself.
For years, I searched for rational explanations. Some experiences could be explained away. Others couldn't.
This chapter explores the unexpected experiences that emerged as I healed—and the questions that forced me to reconsider what might be possible.
This Is What Healing Looks Like
I started meditating in my bedroom closet because it was the only dark place in the house. What followed was anything but ordinary. Unexpected experiences, buried grief and a message I understood to be from Connor began changing how I saw myself—and what I believed was possible.