The Truth I Stopped Softening

When Healing Brought My Shame to the Surface

For 15 years, whenever I said how Connor died, I added an explanation.

An accidental drug overdose. Prescription pain medication. Oxy.

I thought I was protecting myself from other people’s judgment. What I began to understand was that I was protecting myself from my own shame.

Then, sitting in a grief support group, I said the words without the explanation.

“My son, Connor, died of a drug overdose.”

In the full story, I share how my dreams brought me back to a wound I thought I had healed—and what it meant to finally say those words without defending myself.

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