How Did I End Up in a Documentary About Consciousness?
What began as unexplained vibrations, vivid dreamscapes and out-of-body experiences became a lesson in trusting myself. When a forgotten book finally gave me language for what I was experiencing, it also opened a path toward the Monroe Institute—and a documentary I somehow knew I was meant to be part of.
How Did I End Up in a Documentary About Consciousness?
I wasn't searching for spiritual experiences. I was trying to heal.
What began as a journey through grief, loss, and unresolved pain slowly evolved into something I never expected. Strange messages arrived in dreams. Unfamiliar words appeared in my mind and turned out to be real. A warning about a motorcycle accident arrived weeks before the event itself.
For years, I searched for rational explanations. Some experiences could be explained away. Others couldn't.
This chapter explores the unexpected experiences that emerged as I healed—and the questions that forced me to reconsider what might be possible.
The Hardest Thing I've Ever Tried to Heal
For most of my life, I believed self-love was waiting for me in a smaller body.
I spent years dieting, tracking macros, counting calories, and chasing a version of myself that always seemed just out of reach. When I eventually gained nearly sixty pounds despite doing everything "right," I was forced to confront a painful truth: I hadn't loved myself when I was thin either.
This isn't a story about weight gain.
It's a story about self-worth.
About the beliefs we inherit, the standards we spend a lifetime chasing, and what happens when we finally stop waiting to love ourselves.
When Change Feels Like Abandonment
Sometimes change doesn’t feel like change—it feels like abandonment. This piece explores how old patterns shape the way we experience loss, transition and growth.
Welcome to The Shit Show
Healing isn’t linear. Just when you think you’ve done the work, something deeper surfaces. This piece explores what it looks like when healing circles back instead of moving forward.
I Never Wanted to Be Strong
Welcome to My Story: Raw, Real, and Dreaming Big
Let me start with a question: have you ever looked at your life and thought, How did I get here? That’s pretty much the recurring theme of mine. I’ve made choices that seemed like a good idea at the time (mostly), stumbled into grace I didn’t deserve, and tripped over life lessons so hard I’m surprised I didn’t sprain something.
But somewhere between the chaos and the clarity, I found threads of meaning. I found healing. I found breathwork. And somewhere along the way, I realized life isn’t just what happens when you’re awake—dreams, the ones we have at night and the ones we chase during the day, hold just as much power to shape us.
Where Hyper-Independence Begins
Hyper-independence often begins in childhood. This reflection explores how early experiences shape the belief that we have to do everything alone—and what it takes to begin changing that.